The World Ended and Time Stopped (Part I)

Sep 25 2010

Evolution has been at work in the universe since the Big Bang. I save that for later. The premise here is that evolution is in fact the process of our reunion. It has been at work, behind the scenes, in my life.

One cloudy day, as I walked home from school, I ran into a software bug. Think of it this way: hardware dictates the necessities of power and the input and output signals of the machine. So I was not hungry nor was I faced with an immediate, physical danger. It can only be a software problem. If you are in the system, and the system is in trouble, then you’re in trouble, too. The only way to fix the problem is to escape the system first. Then, instead of being a chess piece, you play chess. But this is impossibility.

A dragon, realizing the unreal nature of its existence, tries to escape unreality.

Can a software bug destroy hardware? In certain circumstances, if a particular part of the chip is overly exercised, it can overheat. It melts, like a piece of glass. This corresponds to those particularly nasty bugs that produce many of the drones of our society. When infected with drug, alcohol, or sex addiction, escape is seldom possible.

Fortunately, we have a different software bug to consider, since it was my life.

A box built by the imagination, or a software program

It is interesting to note that a few months before this bug appeared, I read books about black holes and optical illusions.


Now I don’t know what the difference is

Suddenly, as I was walking home that day, I ran into an infinite loop. Time. It was time itself. I was trapped in the same infinite time loop as in the Groundhog Day. Doing the same thing over and over again, but never getting it right. The capacity for error built into humans, into evolution itself, always creeps in. When the DNA of an organism is altered, the copy of the DNA survives into the next generation .1% of the time. So evolution was at work here. This was when the delusion came full force. At that moment, all possibility of reunion was forgotten.

Goodbye, world

When I woke up in the morning, I said this is a new day. I can get it perfect. Then the bug creeps in, and the whole system crashes. Whatever I do after that, I’m not fully in it. I know the past is there, and I can never justify it with anything I do in the present. Failure caused by failure to be perfect, sits there. I wait again and again for the moment to break out of it, but it never comes. My mind is sharp. I finish homework twice as fast as before. But other times, the loneliness. I sit watching the clock, waiting for another chance . . .

Books read:

  1. Sailing and poetry book/diary
  2. The illusion book
  3. Eye witness books
  4. Cartoon history of the world
  5. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
  6. Alice in Wonderland

(to be continued)

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